In just six months, I had to say goodbye to three people. First who left us was grandpa. He was the only grandpa I've ever knew, and even if he wasn't such a friendly or loving person, knowing I'll never see him again hurt like hell. Still he was old enough not to make me ask God why would He do that to me.
Few months later it happened again. This time was much more painful, because neither of us expected to this. C., the child of silent serene mornings left us with broken hearts and thousands of questions. He was my best friend's brother and he was only 18 when his heart stopped beating, too tired to go on any longer. I don't remember anything more shocking than those words: "They had to let him go..." After that night, I haven't slept for more than two weeks. It was a nightmare.
All this time, we were praying for another child. He was only 15 years old, and had a tumor on his brain. They found this out just a year ago, when he started to complain about some ugly headaches. At the beginning, nobody took it very seriously, but eventually they decided to go to a doctor. Who knew what awful news we're gonna get? Daniel was sick. So sick that he needed surgery right away. There were some risks, though. When asked what the risks are, the doctor said 3 from 5 are dying during the surgery. And about the other two from five, he could not tell too much. Nobody wanted to take this risk. After this, it followed a whole year spent in different hospitals, a year of treatments that turned Daniel into a person I've never knew before. I remember that day, when he came back from Belgium, after a really harsh treatment. They came to visit us and it was the first time I was seeing him, after the callous diagnostic. I didn't recognize him in the first place. He was looking so different. And not in a good way. He had nothing from the happy child I knew before. No smiles, no annoying questions, but a huge shadow of suffering in his eyes. I asked him how is he doing. Stupid question I asked! But he wasn't complaining of anything. He was ok.
But I knew he's not ok. He was so sick he could've barely walked. All this time, we didn't stop praying for him. It was the only hope we had. And we hoped in a miracle.
After an unspeakable hard year, Daniel left us. He didn't even say goodbye to his parents. He woke up one morning and he said to his daddy he had something on his chest. And that was all, because he closed his eyes forever.
Now there is no pain in his eyes anymore. But there's so much pain in ours. We all trusted a God who can heal the most impossible diseases, but he didn't heal Daniel. Or maybe He did. But He did heal Daniel in a way we can't understand yet.
We all miss him, and that house will never be the same without him. Our lives will never be the same without him. Daniel was my cousin and I try to remember only the good moments we shared together. Like the last New Year Eve we've spent together. It was right before they found out about the tumor. Our parents were in Italy and we throw a party there. Daniel was there too and he was unsatisfied with the size of the piece of cake he got. It was so funny...
I still can't believe he's gone...But I still can feel his arms around me, from the last embrace we shared.
Remembering you forever.
P.S. Daniel's funeral was the reason I went home last week.
The reason i wrote this in English is because it seems so much painful when I talk about it in Romanian. And I can't take it yet.
Few months later it happened again. This time was much more painful, because neither of us expected to this. C., the child of silent serene mornings left us with broken hearts and thousands of questions. He was my best friend's brother and he was only 18 when his heart stopped beating, too tired to go on any longer. I don't remember anything more shocking than those words: "They had to let him go..." After that night, I haven't slept for more than two weeks. It was a nightmare.
All this time, we were praying for another child. He was only 15 years old, and had a tumor on his brain. They found this out just a year ago, when he started to complain about some ugly headaches. At the beginning, nobody took it very seriously, but eventually they decided to go to a doctor. Who knew what awful news we're gonna get? Daniel was sick. So sick that he needed surgery right away. There were some risks, though. When asked what the risks are, the doctor said 3 from 5 are dying during the surgery. And about the other two from five, he could not tell too much. Nobody wanted to take this risk. After this, it followed a whole year spent in different hospitals, a year of treatments that turned Daniel into a person I've never knew before. I remember that day, when he came back from Belgium, after a really harsh treatment. They came to visit us and it was the first time I was seeing him, after the callous diagnostic. I didn't recognize him in the first place. He was looking so different. And not in a good way. He had nothing from the happy child I knew before. No smiles, no annoying questions, but a huge shadow of suffering in his eyes. I asked him how is he doing. Stupid question I asked! But he wasn't complaining of anything. He was ok.
But I knew he's not ok. He was so sick he could've barely walked. All this time, we didn't stop praying for him. It was the only hope we had. And we hoped in a miracle.
After an unspeakable hard year, Daniel left us. He didn't even say goodbye to his parents. He woke up one morning and he said to his daddy he had something on his chest. And that was all, because he closed his eyes forever.
Now there is no pain in his eyes anymore. But there's so much pain in ours. We all trusted a God who can heal the most impossible diseases, but he didn't heal Daniel. Or maybe He did. But He did heal Daniel in a way we can't understand yet.
We all miss him, and that house will never be the same without him. Our lives will never be the same without him. Daniel was my cousin and I try to remember only the good moments we shared together. Like the last New Year Eve we've spent together. It was right before they found out about the tumor. Our parents were in Italy and we throw a party there. Daniel was there too and he was unsatisfied with the size of the piece of cake he got. It was so funny...
I still can't believe he's gone...But I still can feel his arms around me, from the last embrace we shared.
Remembering you forever.
P.S. Daniel's funeral was the reason I went home last week.
The reason i wrote this in English is because it seems so much painful when I talk about it in Romanian. And I can't take it yet.
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